Mental Preparation

Well, surgery is on as scheduled: Dec. 10, 2013, at 7:30am.  I have been praying and worrying so much about whether it will happen.  Now we have to process, in a very short time, what it will be like to have my sweet daughter actually undergo such an invasive procedure.  I do feel as though the Lord has continued to remind me that most of the suffering will be Taylor's and mine, and not hers - she will be blissfully unaware that it ever happened.



Waiting for the call that surgery was on was pretty stressful.  But in some ways, we were more at peace this time around.  Taylor and I both had a feeling ahead of time that Julia was still going to technically have a cold, but that the doctors would decide to proceed with surgery anyway.  Sure enough, Julia tested positive for rhinovirus, but based on last month's tests, they were confident that the virus is going away.  They will do another physical examination of her on Tuesday before surgery to make sure she still looks as healthy as she did on Friday.



I had planned to write so many posts about feelings and reflections during this time, and I hope that I will write them.  But just as quickly as I had insight and encouragement from the Lord about this time, I would often feel plunged in to despair.  I guess one message I have had on my heart is this: I am not strong.  At all.  So many people have said such kind things about how wonderful we are, but we aren't.  We're human, and we're getting through this time because the Lord sustains us, because our friends are superhumanly kind, and because we have to.  Right?  We all think, "I could never do that," when we see something difficult that someone else is going through.  I always thought that specifically about having children - that I could never watch my children suffer.  But, in February 2013, I learned at the 18 week ultrasound that yes, suffering would be something we would endure.  And we endure and persevere because we have to, we want to, and the Lord sustains us.

Please pray with us as we anxiously await the surgery, and as we entrust our precious Julia to the surgeons.